i just had sex bonerless
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize