Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
