@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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