this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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