There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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