She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
