Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize