after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
