His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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