White coat. Heels.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
