is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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