Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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