I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
