careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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