You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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