its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
