I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
