Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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