hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
