ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
