At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
