in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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