You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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