i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
