Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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