Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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