im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
