Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
pray to the hookup gods
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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