dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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