I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
