You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
