no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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