And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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