You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There r osticjed everywhere
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize