Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
