Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
