They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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