I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
