dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
