So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
