Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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