I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
