I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
