what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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