I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize