I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
