It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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