Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
