And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
