you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
