just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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