We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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