I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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