just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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