Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
