toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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