I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
