I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
