Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
