she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I still have a little drunk in my system
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
