We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
