I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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