I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
