Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They have beer where we have blood.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
