Nicole vs. Life
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
