I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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