watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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