it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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