everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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