drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
