I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
