Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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