Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
