Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
