I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you bring me the toilet please
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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