she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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