69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
